I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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