i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
