doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
