We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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