In the future we'll all be gay
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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