...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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