i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
