I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
