I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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