just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
