i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
