I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
