yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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