I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
