i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
