I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
