last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
