There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
