Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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