im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
