Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
farters have to be the big spoon...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Randomize
