i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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