I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
