I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
