hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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