My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
