I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
