I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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