So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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