im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
