i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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