No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
