I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
