i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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