Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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