so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
