so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
