Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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