Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Randomize
