Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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