New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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