haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
zippers are such a cool invention
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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