Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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