I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
