can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
