You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
