hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
