Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
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