So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
