I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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