I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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